II. Manifest and Cowering

Pain is a part of life. We all experience different levels of it. We all experience pain differently. Two people could be in the same car accident and one may walk away having a greater appreciation for life and keep on, while the other cowers under the bed with PTSD. I have definitely been the cowering type in the past. I was the epitome of woe is me, why does this happen to me?! boys are always mean to me, I will end up a crazy dog lady. Ugh. Even reading that over drives me crazy. Oh poor you Jenna, snap out of it! Move on! You have this beautiful light inside you (as do you) shaking the bars of the prison you’ve kept her in because of your hurt.

 

Now people, let me tell you, it is SO SO important what you manifest. If you manifest and think victim, that is what you will be. If you think I am fierce, beautiful and full of positive light- like Gal Gadot (stupidly gorgeous and wonderful Wonder Woman actress) then that is what you will create for yourself. If you think that all your dates will go poorly, or you’ll never find someone who will truly appreciates your love of collecting ceramic chickens, or you’ll never get that promotion because Johnny over there is smarter with his well ironed pants – then that is what will happen. Who is to say that you won’t meet Ted, who has a ceramic collection of cocks  that will match your chickens (come on, I had to)? Or that you can’t have perfect pleats and creative ideas that Johnny is too wrapped up in math for? I will tell you who. You.

 

The universe is a breeding ground for what you want. Like a well organized round of speed dating. Whatever you put out into the world, or feed it with, it will create that for you. So if you’re stuck with a dud, either pretend you have to pee and leave, or buckle up baby for dud city.  If you’re like me, I hella struggled with knowing what I wanted or finding my path, which I still do – finding myself is a lifetime active job. So for example, something negative would happen to me and I would cower and dwell until the end of time about it. It was like an awful rerun of an episode of The Big Bang Theory that you’ve seen a million thousand times over but you can’t shut off because the remote is on the other couch and you’re hungover. I would re-play the event or hurtful words in my mind again and again, relentlessly, essentially torturing my soul with the what ifs, whys, and trying to understand my pain. This is what I have come to realize. There is better things to watch on Netflix if I just get off my ass and change the channel.

 

Realizing that only I could control how I reacted to pain was huge for me. Everyone always tells you “it’s ok, just let it go” or “they obviously have a lot of their own issues” or my personal favorite “you’re way too good for him anyway, you’ll find someone better!” Ok, yes all of these are great, but until you really deep down believe it and feel it, it is totally irrelevant. Which is why I circle back to manifesting. I was sooo good at manifesting my victim, woe is me, wah wah wah, but what if I channeled that cry baby into the baby from The Incredibles? Jack Jack is adaptable, ready for anything and purely focused on what he wants from life – even if it is just his mom’s cuddles. Since the spring, I have really focused on nurturing my spiritual self and I shit you not, my life has completely changed. I changed from cry baby to Jack Jack baby and doors started opening for me in ways I never thought possible.

 

Moral of the story is; the thoughts that you put on the track in your mind will circle around and become reality. So be kind to yourself and don’t dwell on the things that could create that negative space in your life. I know things can be hard, but if you focus on the negative that is what the universe will bring you. If you cower under the bed at every hardship you’ll just be stuck under there with the monsters. I don’t care how metaphorically hungover you are, get off your ass and change the channel. No one likes watching reruns of Big Bang ALL DAMN DAY.